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GG: Callie...
UU: no, please, i really insist that yoU listen. i will at least do the coUrtesy of explaining myself.
UU: i am embarrassed to admit that yoU are mostly correct in yoUr assUmptions about my poorly-veiled desires.
UU: bUt it is a thing slightly more complex than yoU have let yourself consider.
UU: how do i pUt this...
UU: so. roxy is a girl, yes? in the sense that adUlt women refer to oUrselves and each other as girls, colloqUially, categorically.
GG: Yes. That does indeed seem to be her thing.
UU: right. and what woUld yoU refer to me as?
GG: As a girl, yes? That's just what you've always been to me.
UU: yes, of coUrse!
GG: Is that not... appropriate of me? Please understand that I don't want to make easy assumptions, or, I don't know...
UU: nonono, i think it is wholly appropriate, and this is the point that i am getting to.
UU: roxy is a girl. i am a girl too. we all agree on this topic, so this exists at the level of a 'socially acknowledged fact'.
UU: bUt for roxy, despite any circUmstantial complexities, her womanhood rises beyond the plane of 'socially acknowledged fact' and enters the realm of 'embodiment'.
UU: and for me, *no matter what*, i cannot ascend to the level of 'embodiment'.
UU: it is a grim rUle of Unbreakable fate, my life's dictate written in dark stars.
UU: roxy is a girl with a female body. however she got there, it is hers.
UU: i am a girl with a nothing body. a permanent nothing body.
UU: Ungentle to toUch, Unpleasant to look at.
UU: and so i can love roxy as, as an idea. as a shadow printed faintly and softly against the midnight dim.
UU: i can manifest my affection and adoration and desire for her, as a concept.
UU: as the theory of a girl loving a girl.
UU: bUt no matter what, it cannot manifest as embodiment.
UU: this yearning is a part of myself that i mUst kill off if i am to move forward and continUe making myself Useful.